Crap

I feel like crap

I feel like all my effort to be affectionate were wasted since it looks insincere and it were delivered poorly.

I feel constantly guilty about things i did to my friends and i'm afraid that i hurt them unintentionally. But i'm also afraid that if i ask if i make them mad or say sorry over and over again it will annoy them. In fact i'm not sure about what is right and what is wrong.

I feel insecure and sucks when no one replied me on group chats, and if my best friends didn't think of me as their best friend.

I am insecure that I am such a boring person, who only complains and worries too much. I am afraid that my friends get bored whenever I talked to them.

I feel like embracing myself only got me into this feeling of loneliness, where relationships are there because of the business I did, not because of the connection or understanding I did.

I feel like I have listened enough, but then in reality I still can't hear voices and I still miss others' standpoints and opinions.

I feel like I've done my best repairing myself, but then it isn't good enough to have faith and be confidence with myself. And it might not be enough to make my friends happy.