how to 'just do it'

'just do it' is to be comfortable with offending and disappointing people in the quest of being true to myself

when the risk are too big for you too handle
when you're arguing inside of your head to make sure if it's the right thing to do
when you risk losing the people you love
when you risk losing their trust (maybe you have lost their trust though)
when you already lost their trust, their love, their attention
when you can't figure out how to gain those back
when you think you have fixed yourself, but the fact is you haven't
when you have fixed yourself, but they just didn't know how far you've changed because they don't know you long enough
when you can't even tell them you miss them
when you have new relationships that you have to invest to
when there are lots of other people who love and care about you
when you know that your relationship won't be the same after that

but you want them back
but you suffer when they're gone
but you used to have them as your core support system
but you miss them so much
but you have so many plans to do with them (we are supposed to go swimming in our next holiday, remember?)
but you want them to be your best friend for life
but you have gone so far, done a lot, to have them as your best friends
but you're proud to have them as your best friends
but you cherished them a lot, and they used to cherish you too (it's not one-sided)
but you have to just do it


nah, actually, what kind of change do you want? everyone is changing though, do you really want to go back? isn't it too greedy to have it all? their grass will always look greener though.... i thought you said you were grateful though? what exactly do you need, trysh?


is it wrong to feel frustated at yourself?...